We watched the news in horror, our grief raw and gnawing. The news of my boyfriend’s younger brother dying was splashed across the screen in unfeeling, clinical terms. He was in a car accident that left two people dead. The phone immediately started to ring. Our few hours of quiet mourning were over.
The support and love we received over those awful days, especially for my boyfriend’s family, helped begin the healing process over the sudden loss of life. It can be difficult to know what to say in a sympathy card, particularly if you want to choose just the right words. Here are some ideas to get started.
Tips to keep in mind
Wade Courtney, who lost a 19-year-old daughter, had two pieces of advice.
“I can’t tell you how grateful I was for my friends and family. There are really no words that can make loss easier. The best thing was people who kept it simple, left religion out of it and were just there to listen.”
What Courtney learned was to tailor the message to the recipient. If you’re religious, but the bereaved isn’t, leave that out of the sentiment. Think of words of comfort that will work for that person, at that moment in time. If you are both religious, let those words comfort the bereaved.
Courtney also wrote a
blog post about how many written sentiments are conveyed via social media.
“I posted on Facebook about our loss. We received hundreds of private messages and comments on our loss. People expressed what Evelyn had meant to them on our Facebook pages, as well as Evelyn’s. “
10 sentiments to adapt to the situation
- May your time with friends and family bring you memories of happier days and give you peace.
- As long as one is remembered, one lives on.
- I wish for peace for you and your family.
- As you grieve, know we remember you and honor the memory of [name].
- Our hearts go out to you in your time of sorrow.
- May the comfort of friends and family help bring you peace as we all remember [name’s] life and spirit.
- Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
- Include a poem or saying that helped you through a time of grief your hope that it brings comfort to them as well.
- “What we have once enjoyed, we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes part of us.” ~ Helen Keller
- We were coworkers of [name]. Words cannot express our sorrow. The office won’t be the same without him/her.
Any personal anecdote you can add about the deceased will help their loved ones. A college story or a work tale can give the grieving a glimpse into the life shared with others. The story lets family and loved ones know how the person’s life affected others for the better.
We would like to share more phrases of comfort. If you’d like to share a sentiment that touched you or a loved one, please share in the comments section. For those still grieving with loss, we wish you peace and healing.
